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20-Jan-2018 07:13

“At least I had validation—even for a brief moment—that I wasn't crazy or a horrible person,” she says.

“The drama and ‘it's all my fault’ conversations were really wearing on my sanity, to say nothing of the tattered threads of my self-esteem.”Talk about drama: Jamie recalls one morning in which her husband greeted her, but she didn't hear him ask how she slept.

"He flew into a rage," she describes, "yelling at me for not saying good morning and for not staying in bed a few minutes to snuggle.

My jaw was on the floor, having never experienced such bizarre drama.

After yet another argument, I called my friend to uninvite her.”Not only was Jamie’s friend upset, her husband still wasn’t happy: “Instead, he complained about everything—down to the board games we played after dinner—and left in a huff, yelling at me for not noticing that he was so unhappy.” His haughty behavior and exaggerated sense of self-importance are classic signs of NPD, our experts say.

When Jamie’s husband was diagnosed with narcissism, she felt awash with relief.

As defined by the Mayo Clinic, NPD is “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.”His constant manipulation, his verbal attacks on Linda—only to switch to playing the victim moments later—and his gaslighting tactics all pointed the therapist to the diagnosis, Linda says.It often seems easier to try to ignore the signs, blame yourself for their behavior, or try as hard as possible to keep the peace, as Linda did—anything but admit the person you love may have NPD.

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